know my family, for they, too, reside in that
town." I thought he was joking; but, seeing
he looked quite grave, I drew him out a little,
and found he had no idea that London was
larger than Caracas. As I felt quite sure that
he would think me a Munchausen if I told him
that the English capital contained three times
as many persons as all Venezuela, I maintained
a discreet silence on that head. I could,
however, hardly keep my countenance when he
wrote down his name on paper, and added a
memorandum that his family lived in London,
and I was to find them out and send him the
particulars. Presently one of the company
informed me that A.'s father was a sergeant, and
rose to be a major in Venezuela, where this son
was born.

Meantime, a general of cavalry had been
preparing lunch, of which I was glad to partake;
and when it was over, and we had betaken
ourselves to cigars, an officer came and requested
me to go to the president. I found Falcon
quite alone, swinging, in his hammock; but on
seeing me he sprang up, and made me sit on a
bed, while he sat in a chair. I said I had been
anxious to see him, in order to learn from his
own mouth his sentiments regarding the loan.
He replied that, from the communications he
had received from General Guzman Blanco, he
had no doubt that all would be satisfactorily
settled. I dwelt on the importance of a
scrupulous adherence to the conditions, and of
the government's maintaining its character for
good faith. He assented. I then said that I
had visited the richest districts in Venezuela,
and was quite convinced of the enormous
productiveness of the soil; but there were two
things wanting, brazos y dinero—"labour and
capital." "It appears to me," I continued,
"that the Venezuelan government have the
means of becoming rich, and of paying off all
the debt of the country."  "Ah!" said he,
"how so, pray?"  "By selling," I replied, "a
great tract of country to some European
company who would send out large bodies of
emigrants." He asked me if that proposition came
from the English government or from private
individuals; and on my telling him, from the
latter, he declared that he was most favourable
to such an enterprise. "There is," he said,
"a tract of country between Maracaybo and
Caracas, two hundred leagues long and fifty
broad, admirably adapted for cultivation, which
might be sold to emigrants." After this we
spoke of indifferent subjects, and principally of
the chase. He told me he had just killed two
large panthers and a puma in the forests of
Coro. The puma took refuge in an immense
tree, the foliage of which was so thick as almost
to conceal it, so that he had had great difficulty
in shooting it. Finding that I was fond of
sport, he expressed his regret that I had not
come to Coro, which, indeed, was entirely his
own fault, as he had not invited me. His lunch
was now brought in, and he asked me to join
him at the table; but I said I had already
disposed of my appetite, and I took leave, pleased
with his manners, but not too deeply convinced
of his sincerity.

On coming out, I was shown the diamond
star he wears (which is worth, perhaps, two
hundred guineas), and his order of Liberator.
"So much," thought I, "for equality,
republican simplicity, and all that sort of
thing."

THE RACK IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY.

I AM a plain man, who hates nonsense.

For a man who weighs only a few ounces
over nineteen stone it is rather hard to be told
by vulgar people, who are intimate enough to
take liberties and think they can make jokes,
that he must find a way of throwing out some
of his ballast. My friend Bumpus tells me
that I must dispose of a few pounds of the
adipose tissue which I pack under my waistcoat,
lace my stays a little tighter, and call upon
Mr. Banting!

I say nothing in return. It has been well
observed that a man's ability is best found out
by noticing what he might have said, and could
have said, but didn't say. I have heard how
many witty things great men, who also are
discreet, abstain from saying; and my friends
have never missed a chance that came to hand
of telling me that I am a great man.

"Blobb," says my friend Bumpus, who has
taken out his freedom of the courtesies because
our shops were in the same street, and we left
business within two years of one another—
"Blobb, you're too fat. You eat too much;
you take too little exercise. I see by your
gasping at this moment that you'll die of fatty
heart, if you don't mind yourself. Fat, don't
you know, if you get too much of it,
collects about the cockles of the heart, and
hinders them from opening their shells—smothers
them, in fact. Blobb!  you are a mass of
cockles; and one of these days you will be
smothered."

"Bumpus," I said, "you are unfeeling."

"It's what you'll wish you were. But come,
old fellow, I'll give you a chance for twenty
years more of life. You won't leave off feeding
on potatoes; you will eat bread, and drink
beer. Very well, then; eat 'em, and work 'em
into muscle. If you want to save your cockles,
fall to at your muscles."  I believe, upon my
honour, that he meant this for a joke. "A lean
new year to you," says he, "and more lean
years than Pharoah had. Here, Blobb, my
boy, I'd be sorry to lose a good neighbour so
soon as you seem to be going, and so I shall
take the liberty of giving you a Christmas-
box."

I had been giving Christmas-boxes all the
morning; for it actually was Boxing-day, and
this was the only time a similar compliment
had been offered to myself. As the compliment
represented a rather handsome-looking
book, I took it, and said, "Thank you,