I could cry, for reasons not purely physical,
at this pass of my life!) I took my course.
My Lady had in our first interview
unconsciously over-stated the accommodation of my
pretty house. There was room in it for only
one pupil. He was a young gentleman near
coming of age, very well connected, but what is
called a poor relation. His parents were dead.
The charges of his living and reading with me
were defrayed by an uncle, and he and I were
to do our utmost together for three years
towards qualifying him to make his way. At
this time he had entered into his second year
with me. He was well-looking, clever, energetic,
enthusiastic, bold; in the best sense of the
term, a thorough young Anglo-Saxon.
I resolved to bring these two together.
NINTH CHAPTER.
SAID I, one night, when I had conquered
myself: "Mr. Granville:" Mr. Granville Wharton
his name was: "I doubt if you have ever
yet so much as seen Miss Fareway."
"Well, sir," returned he, laughing, "you see
her so much yourself, that you hardly leave
another fellow a chance of seeing her."
"I am her tutor, you know," said I.
And there the subject dropped for that time.
But I so contrived, as that they should come
together shortly afterwards. I had previously
so contrived as to keep them asunder, for while
I loved her—I mean before I had determined
on my sacrifice—a lurking jealousy of Mr.
Granville lay within my unworthy breast.
It was quite an ordinary interview in the
Fareway Park; but they talked easily together
for some time; like takes to like, and they had
many points of resemblance. Said Mr.
Granville to me, when he and I sate at our supper
that night: "Miss Fareway is remarkably
beautiful, sir, and remarkably engaging. Don't you
think so?"—"I think so," said I. And I stole
a glance at him, and saw that he had reddened
and was thoughtful. I remember it most vividly,
because the mixed feeling of grave pleasure and
acute pain that the slight circumstance caused
me, was the first of a long, long series of such
mixed impressions under which my hair turned
slowly grey.
I had not much need to feign to be subdued,
but I counterfeited to be older than I was, in all
respects (Heaven knows, my heart being all too
young the while!), and feigned to be more of a
recluse and bookworm than I had really become,
and gradually set up more and more of a fatherly
manner towards Adelina. Likewise, I made my
tuition less imaginative than before; separated
myself from my poets and philosophers; was
careful to present them in their own light, and
me, their lowly servant, in my own shade.
Moreover, in the matter of apparel I was equally
mindful. Not that I had ever been dapper that
way, but that I was slovenly now.
As I depressed myself with one hand, so did
I labour to raise Mr. Granville with the other;
directing his attention to such subjects as I too
well knew most interested her, and fashioning
him (do not deride or misconstrue the
expression, unknown reader of this writing, for I
have suffered!) into a greater resemblance to
myself in my solitary one strong aspect. And
gradually, gradually, as I saw him take more
and more to these thrown-out lures of mine,
then did I come to know better and better that
love was drawing him on, and was drawing
Her from me.
So passed more than another year; every
day a year in its number of my mixed impressions
of grave pleasure and acute pain; and
then, these two being of age and free to act
legally for themselves, came before me, hand in
hand (my hair being now quite white), and
entreated me that I would unite them together.
"And indeed, dear Tutor," said Adelina, "it
is but consistent in you that you should do this
thing for us, seeing that we should never have
spoken together that first time but for you, and
that but for you we could never have met so often
afterwards." The whole of which was literally
true, for I had availed myself of my many
business attendances on, and conferences with, my
Lady, to take Mr. Granville to the house, and
leave him in the outer room with Adelina.
I knew that my Lady would object to such a
marriage for her daughter, or to any marriage
that was other than an exchange of her for
stipulated lands, goods, and moneys. But, looking
on the two, and seeing with full eyes that they
were both young and beautiful; and knowing
that they were alike in the tastes and acquirements
that will outlive youth and beauty; and
considering that Adelina had a fortune now, in
her own keeping; and considering further that
Mr. Granville, though for the present poor, was
of a good family that had never lived in a cellar
in Preston; and believing that their love would
endure, neither having any great discrepancy to
find out in the other; I told them of my readiness
to do this thing which Adelina asked of
her dear Tutor, and to send them forth, Husband
and Wife, into the shining world with golden
gates that awaited them.
It was on a summer morning that I rose
before the sun, to compose myself for the
crowning of my work with this end. And my
dwelling being near to the sea, I walked down
to the rocks on the shore, in order that I might
behold the sun rise in his majesty.
The tranquillity upon the Deep and on the
firmament, the orderly withdrawal of the stars,
the calm promise of coming day, the rosy
suffusion of the sky and waters, the ineffable
splendour that then burst forth, attuned my
mind afresh after the discords of the night.
Methought that all I looked on said to me, and
that all I heard in the sea and in the air said
to me: "Be comforted, mortal, that thy life is
so short. Our preparation for what is to
follow, has endured, and shall endure, for
unimaginable ages."
I married them. I knew that my hand was
cold when I placed it on their hands clasped
together; but the words with which I had to
accompany the action, I could say without
faltering, and I was at peace.
They being well away from my house and
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