here, where the gentlemen can have their wine-
glass of negus and their egg-sandwich, and their
quiet game at beggar-my-neighbour, and look
on. As for us, ma'am, we shall have quite
enough to do to manage the company."

"Oh, indeed you may say so. Quite enough,
ma'am!" said Mrs. Orange.

The company began to come. The first of
them was a stout boy, with a white top-knot
and spectacles. The housemaid brought him in
and said, "Compliments, and at what time was
he to be fetched?" Mrs. Alicumpaine said,
"Not a moment later than ten. How do you
do, sir? Go and sit down." Then a number
of other children came; boys by themselves,
and girls by themselves, and boys and girls
together. They didn't behave at all well. Some
of them looked through quizzing-glasses at
others, and said, "Who are those? Don't
know them." Some of them looked through
quizzing-glasses at others, and said, "How
do?" Some of them had cups of tea or coffee
handed to them by others, and said, "Thanks!
Much!" A good many boys stood about, and
felt their shirt-collars. Four tiresome fat
boys would stand in the doorway and talk
about the newspapers, till Mrs. Alicumpaine
went to them and said, "My dears, I really
cannot allow you to prevent people from coming
in. I shall be truly sorry to do it, but, if you
put yourselves in everybody's way, I must
positively send you home." One boy, with a beard
and a large white waistcoat, who stood straddling
on the hearth-rug warming his coat-tails,
was sent home. "Highly incorrect, my dear,"
said Mrs. Alicumpaine, handing him out of the
room, "and I cannot permit it."

There was a children's band—harp, cornet,
and piano—and Mrs. Alicumpaine and Mrs.
Orange bustled among the children to persuade
them to take partners and dance. But they
were so obstinate! For quite a long time they
would not be persuaded to take partners and
dance. Most of the boys said, "Thanks.
Much. But not at present." And most of the
rest of the boys said, "Thanks. Much. But
never do."

"Oh! These children are very wearing," said
Mrs. Alicumpaine to Mrs. Orange.

"Dear things! I dote upon them, but they
ARE wearing," said Mrs. Orange to Mrs.
Alicumpaine.

At last they did begin in a slow and melancholy
way to slide about to the music, though
even then they wouldn't mind what they were
told, but would have this partner, and wouldn't
have that partner, and showed temper about it.
And they wouldn't smile, no not on any
account they wouldn't; but when the music
stopped, went round and round the room in
dismal twos, as if everybody else was dead.

"Oh! It's very hard indeed to get these
vexing children to be entertained," said Mrs.
Alicumpaine to Mrs. Orange.

"I dote upon the darlings, but it IS hard,"
said Mrs. Orange to Mrs. Alicumpaine.

They were trying children, that's the truth.
First, they wouldn't sing when they were asked,
and then, when everybody fully believed they
wouldn't, they would. "If you serve us so
any more, my love," said Mrs. Alicumpaine to
a tall child, with a good deal of white back, in
mauve silk trimmed with lace, "it will be my
painful privilege to offer you a bed, and to send
you to it immediately."

The girls were so ridiculously dressed, too,
that they were in rags before supper. How
could the boys help treading on their trains?
And yet when their trains were trodden on,
they often showed temper again, and looked as
black, they did! However, they all seemed to
be pleased when Mrs. Alicumpaine said, "Supper
is ready, children!" And they went crowding
and pushing in, as if they had had dry bread for
dinner.

"How are the children getting on?" said
Mr. Orange to Mrs. Orange, when Mrs. Orange
came to look after baby. Mrs. Orange had
left Baby on a shelf near Mr. Orange while he
played at Beggar-my-Neighbour, and had asked
him to keep his eye upon her now and then.

"Most charmingly, my dear!" said Mrs.
Orange. "So droll to see their little flirtations
and jealousies! Do come and look!"

"Much obliged to you, my dear," said Mr.
Orange, "but I don't care about children
myself."

So Mrs. Orange, having seen that baby was
safe, went back without Mr. Orange to the
room where the children were having supper.

"What are they doing now?" said Mrs.
Orange to Mrs. Alicumpaine.

"They are making speeches and playing at
Parliament," said Mrs. Alicumpaine to Mrs.
Orange.

On hearing this, Mrs. Orange set off once
more back again to Mr. Orange, and said
"James dear, do come. The children are playing
Parliament."

"Thank you, my dear," said Mr. Orange,
"but I don't care about Parliament myself."

So Mrs. Orange went once again without
Mr. Orange to the room where the children
were having supper, to see them playing at
Parliament. And she found some of the boys
crying "Hear, hear, hear!" while other boys
cried "No, no!" and others "Question!"
"Spoke!" and all sorts of nonsense that
ever you heard. Then one of those tiresome
fat boys who had stopped the doorway, told them
he was on his legs (as if they couldn't see that
he wasn't on his head, or on his anything else)
to explain, and that with the permission of his
honourable friend, if he would allow him to call
him so (another tiresome boy bowed), he would
proceed to explain. Then he went on for a long
time in a sing-song (whatever he meant!), did
this troublesome fat boy, about that he held in
his hand a glass, and about that he had come
down to that house that night to discharge
what he would call a public duty, and about
that on the present occasion he would lay his
hand (his other hand) upon his heart, and would
tell honourable gentlemen that he was about to
open the door to general approval. Then he
opened the door by saying "To our hostess!"