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E. says, "TO MISS P. VON S. I will do
whatever you wish, if you will only issue your
commands from a little nearer."

He objects to letters, and desires an interview.
F., on the other hand, is thankful for
a letter, as he ought to be.

"HIGH-BORN AND GRACIOUS DAME, I have
just received your honoured letter of this
month, and already fully considered your
invitation. I was touched to the heart at the
delay of your letter. Cruel Fate, cruel post
office! Well, too well, do I understand such
painful impediments to our bliss! Deep in
my heart grow the thanks for your
remembrance. I have the greatest anxiety to see
you; till when, think of me sometimes."

"To G. I suffer much, both physically and
morally. Why care for the rain or the full
omnibus? Did I not wait for you in the
green-wood, and is not Sunday the only day of
my freedom? H."

"TO THE LADY who ought to be dressed in
white or blue.

          'I am bound in your bands,
          And can send by no hands.' Mary Stuart.

Thirteen Sundays have been days without
a sun! Thirteen hopes in half-past twelve
have been lost! Still salt keeps the meat
fresh, and desire keeps love young! Sheltered
are my happy hopes, like 'flowers gathered
by a child.' The flower returns to dust. But
winter brings me the hope of spring." She
therefore signs herself J.

J. sportively asks for the address of
his pet, who, perhaps, is on a visit to
Vienna.

"TO THE LITTLE PUSS, MIMI. Where do
you mew now? Miou."

K., from Petruchio's Katherine, perhaps,
to a despondent advertiser.

"TO L. As for your despair I saw nothing
of it, and don't mean to write to you. It is
all stuff. K."

"REQUEST WORTHY OF REMARK. M. would
be satisfied to associate himself with a young
maiden or widow, and thus commence an
acquaintance which might ripen into matrimony.
Also, he wants a partner in his business,
with from one hundred and fifty pounds
to two hundred pounds."

M. is evidently getting a taste for society,
or else he is sordid, like N., "AN EDUCATED
LADY," who bluntly advertises her "desire to
buy a little business by means of marrying the
proprietor."

"TO O. I was there. Sorry I saw nobody.
Look to the opposite window this
afternoon. P."

"Q. UNFORGIVEN, canst thou remain so
long? Well, then, let it be mine to say the
godlike wordI pardon, lest you should be
gone. I got your two letters. Anything but
leaving me! My trust is in your truth. This
believe. Shall your maiden write without
embarrassment? This say soon to R. To
morrow I return there, alas!"

"TO S. Oh, you little silly thing! What
am I to do with Johanna's reticule? T."

"TO THE TWENTY-YEAR-OLD BLONDE young
lady. I am arrived. Will come next week,
at the same time to the same place. V."

V. is assured by a lady signing herself
"A Female Cigar-holder," "that he need be
under no uneasiness as to the success of his
suit."

"BELOVED W. To-day is a terrible thought
for me! Every gleam of sunshine falls on
my heart like joys. Every cloud hangs over
it like sorrow. Wilt thou come? If wet,
scruple not to take a hackney-coach. I will
pay."

The lover who spontaneously offers to pay
for a hackney-coach, should be transformed
into a husband without loss of time. "Beloved
W." has, doubtless, hurried to become beloved
wife, that is to say, if W. was wise.

"YOUNG WOMAN, I await your letter. X."

X. is extremely cross, one can perceive.
Not so, however, Y.

"TO THE SMILING LADY, who, upon the
loveliest day in summer, and of my life, drove
to Gr├Ątz.

"In the depths of my soul is your image
graven. Truth and I know each other. How
lovely art thou! All the hopes of my life are
broken down if I cannot see you at eleven
o'clock, on the 17th of September. You were
the sunshine of my days. Oh! why are you
clouded!

       'Blooms still no flower me to joy?'
                                                            "Y"

These are all literal translations of
advertisements, and so is this concluding one from
Z., that crooked dog, who, being left to walk
last, sneers at his company.

"NOT TO BE OVERLOOKED. When I wish
to write cheaply to any one, I just put in an
advertisement. It only costs four florinsa
mere nothing. Z."

Now Ready, price 2d.,
AN EXTRA NUMBER
OF
HOUSEHOLD WORDS,
SHOWING
WHAT CHRISTMAS IS TO EVERYBODY.


Also, price 3s. 6d.,
THE FIRST VOLUME OF
A CHILD'S HISTORY OF ENGLAND.
BY CHARLES DICKENS.
To be completed in three Volumes, of the same size and price.
Collected and revised from "Household Words,"
With a Table of Dates.
BRADBURY AND EVANS, 11, BOUVERIE STREET.

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