+ ~ -
 
Please report pronunciation problems here. Select and sample other voices. Options Pause Play
 
Report an Error
Go!
 
Go!
 
TOC
 

attend to the interests of his tenants. By a
short-sighted clause in this will it was provided
that John should have an annual dividend
of ten per cent. settled upon him, on the
then value of his estate, without the least
reference to what that property might yield.
This yearly dividend was guaranteed to him
out of the taxes of Great Britain. The arrangement
was intended as a set-off against
the loss of his monopoly of Eastern trade;
but, whatever the object, the result has been
most disastrous.

No longer having any stake in the prosperity
of his estate, Honourable John committed
many vagaries; and gave himself a
number of absurd airs. At length he became
involved in some very serious and expensive
quarrels with his neighbours. By the end of
eighteen hundred and thirty eight the nett
income of his property had diminished to half
a million; and within eighteen months of that
time, instead of lessening his expenditure, he
had, by increased expenditure, entailed upon
himself a deficiency of a million and a half.
To make up this shortcoming, as well as to
provide for current wants, John borrowed
largely; and, when warned of the danger
of incurring such serious liabilities with a
yearly deficiency in his rent-roll, he laughed
and observed that his debts did not amount
to more than two years' income, and that as
to the danger of the affair, what did he care?
His ten per cent dividend was guaranteed
him. Nobody could touch that, and what did
debt matter. This remark lowered Honourable
John in my estimation very considerably;
indeed it gave me so low an opinion
of his principles, that I felt inclined to dispute
his right to the title he likes to be known by.
Soon after this he became involved in
quarrels more complicated and extensive
than ever. Quarrelling is always an expensive
occupation; and the results of John's
quarrels were large additions of debt upon
his estate, and equally large drains upon his
means; for, by some singular process, every
new field which came into his possession
turned out a losing affair; although it had
been most profitable up to that period.

Hitherto he had led a very comfortable,
jovial sort of life, all sunshine and rupees. He
resided partly in his City house, and partly in
his West-end mansion, always very busy with
unnecessarily long letters, to which enormously
long and unintelligible replies were sent; for
otherwise all his numerous clerks and messengers
could not have been kept employed for
one hour in the day. Rumours began to arrive
at home respecting the unwholesomeness
of his provinces, and the wretched condition of
some of his farms. It was reported that
there was scarcely any salt to be had in some
parts of his property; that many of his servants
had taken to opium-smoking and opium-chewing,
and had become obtuse in their
faculties, and were dreadfully in debt like
himself; that the roads and drainage of all
his farms were sadly neglected, and that none
of his poorer tenants were fairly used; being
compelled to pay double rents to greedy
middlemen, to whom he had farmed a great
deal of the land in perpetuity.

Far from being aroused by these reports
Honourable John appeared to become more
lazy and confident than ever. He grew impatient
of the most friendly expostulations
and accused his best friends of being interested
agitators. When the state of his
finances were alluded to, he invariably produced
a Blue Book, full of the most confused
masses of figures, which were so arranged as
to add up to any sum that might be required.
If people expressed doubts about their correctness,
or about the future management
of his property, Honourable John assured
them that all would go on most favourably
in future; that the most extensive reforms
were in contemplation carefully tied up with
red tape; and that it was really astonishing
how many excellent changes were under
consideration.

On more than one occasion I have ventured
to express doubts about the prosperity and
happiness of John's distant tenantry. In
answer, he has read extracts from long letters
written by his head-steward and his principal
collectors of rents, all dwelling upon the
happy, cheerful and contented condition of
the people, and how much their position had
been improved since they came upon his land.
I inquired whether the writers of those letters
were quite competent to form an opinion on
such matters; whether they ever saw the
people of whose bliss they gave such delightful
pictures, or any more than the outside of their
offices, unless in an easy carriage; and whether
any one of them was likely to have exchanged
a single word with his tenantry? Honourable
John could not say much on the latter
point; for he believed Englishmen never do
talk to natives, such a habit being considered
ungentlemanly and vulgar; but he knew
that his head-steward was a capital fellow,
and would not deceive him for the world.
Besides he paid him so handsomelynot less
than twenty-four thousand pounds a year
that he must know all about it.

There is no chance of convincing my friend
against his inclination. If I mention his
blunders, he takes shelter behind his good
intentions. If I talk about deficiency of
rents, he assures me that it is all fancy, and
that if I will but allow his secretary to analyse
his accounts for me, I shall find that there
is in reality a surplus, but he never yet
offered me the opportunity of auditing them
myself. If I expostulate about bribery and
corruption among his servants, he tells me
that I am quite mistaken; for, that his
tenantry, so far from objecting to such things,
rather prefer them than otherwise. Bribing
policemen, and being ground down by middlemen,
is quite a passion with them.

It is my firm belief that the greater part of