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itself to the force of the bludgeon just as
effectually as Saladin's cushion might have
done to King Richard's broadsword. The
blow only dazed and staggered me, thanks
to my wide-awake. I immediately turned
round, and beheld my greasy friend running
away as fast as his long legs could carry him.
But he was not wise in his generation. If
he had darted down a dark entry, or into a
doorway, he might have escaped; but it
was a very bright moonlight night, and I
of course ran after him, vociferating "Stop
thief! " as if I had been in Seven Dials,
London. The chase was short. The long
man ran into the arms of a Polizei, a night
constable, who, immediately he had collared
him, tripped his heels up, and then dragged
him up again, knocked him against a wall,
punched his ribs, and apostrophised him in
sundry compound German words, winding
up with contemptuous and indignant "Du's."

My complaint was soon made. The fellow
had been taken in flagrant delict; and the
bludgeon (a most murderous cudgel) was
picked up at the very street corner where he
had assaulted me.

"Justice is on the alert," said the Polizei
to me. "Am I to take this man to the lock-up,
herr? I promise you he will get three
months,—three solid months' imprisonment.
Or do you consent to arrange the

Now the imprisonment of the long man
could not have done me one groschen's worth
of good. My hat had saved my head, and I
had got no hurt, and moreover, the prisoner,
turning out an arrant cur, began to whine
and blubber most piteously, wriggling like an
eel, talking of his wife and family, and
entreating that my English lordship would
forgive him. So I said that the only feasible
arrangement to my mind, was for the man to
beg pardon for what he had done, and make
the best of his way home.

The Polizei immediately assumed an aspect
of the rigidest severity.

"Nein, nein," he said, austerely, "das kann
nicht seyn, Herr. Arrangement. Home!
Poof! Justice must not be trifled with.
You must both come with me. Ya; both.
You as plaintiff; you as defendant." Whereupon
the Polizei looked upon me with an air
that said unmistakably, "Consider yourself
in custody."

I was about to resign myself, when the
culprit, who evidently understood better than I
did what a Prussian judicial "arrangement"
was, began to overwhelm the Polizei with
compound gutturals; the majority of which
were dead and buried letters to me. I saw,
however, the constable frequently strike the
palm of his left hand with the fingers of his
right. I understood that. I understood it
all when the long man produced from the
pockets of his tawny trousers, a fat silver
coin called a thaler, worth three shillings,
which he handed to the Polizei.

I shall never forget the admirably
philosophical equanimity with which this
incorruptible functionary received the bribe. He
looked criticisingly at it, gave the greasy
man a shove forward, to intimate that
that was his way home (an intimation he
acted upon instantaneously), pocketed the
thaler; looked at me, winked with his
moustache (the Germans are too leaden-eyed to
wink with their organs of vision), and
uittering these remarkable words,"Die
Gerechtigkeit ist befriedigt" (Justice is
satisfied), turned on his heel, and I saw him
no more.

Upon reflection, next day I was obliged to
admit that if justice was not satisfied I ought
to be moderately so. In fact the municipal
mediator, though at first sight his conduct
would seem to have borne some resemblance
to that of the lawyer in the famous oyster
arbitration case, had, in the main, given
satisfaction to all parties concerned. The
greasy ruffian had escaped his merited three
months' imprisonment for a trifling mulct:
that was satisfaction enough for him. The
Polizei was the richer in the world by one
thaler: he was satisfied. And I had every
reason for satisfaction in not prosecuting my
assailant. I should have had to have gone
before the Counsellor of Police one day, the
Assessor the next; the Minister of Police
the third; and to have attended the adjudication
of the process on the fourth. Four
days lost for a blow that did me no harm! I
could not even have foregone the prosecution
or have left Berlin, for my passport was at
the Police office, and without a passport
locomotion would have been out of the question,
I never look at my felt hat without thinking
of the Prussian police Gerechtigkeit or
justice, which was satisfied by a three-shilling
piece, and that makes me recall with a
laugh the old anecdote of the Kentuckian
gentleman who stopped the ball because
Captain Larkins had kissed his wife,
immediately afterwards vociferating, "The ball may
go on again. Capting Larkins has given me
satisfaction. Capting Larkins has loaned me
five dollars!"


VOICES so many haunt me on my road,
O, tell me, Angel, which the voice of GOD?
"'Tis that which most relieves thee of thy load."

Yet to me, Angel, oft it doth appear
As if His voice were terrible to hear.
"That is thy own defect, and sin-born fear."

And oft about me is a voice at eve,
Which tells me that for ever I shall grieve.
"That he hath such a voice, do not believe.'*

Yet sometimes, too, at eve, ill voices die.
And comes a whisper of tranquillity.
"His voice is speaking in that evening sigh"

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