the officers do not keep up a mess. When
doing duty in London—and five
battalions out of seven are, in times of peace,
constantly employed there—the officers live at
their club; dine when, how, and where they
like, and are not obliged, as is the rule in
other English corps, either to live together,
to pay a stipulated sum for their dinners,
or to entertain general officers at their mess-
tables. In short, as was lately remarked
in the Times—"They belong to a club, and
are paid for belonging to it;" and we all
know that, for a single man, who is not forced
to keep up any pretence of style, London
is the cheapest town to get on in, in the three
kingdoms.

Time wore on, and Nob was promoted from
"Ensign in the guards and lieutenant in
the army," to be "Lieutenant in the guards
and captain in the army." This step
including the sum of one thousand two
hundred pounds which he had paid for his first
commission, cost him two thousand and fifty
pounds—that being the Regulation price;
besides one thousand two hundred pounds
more, which it was the custom of the
regiment to pay for the promotion. This was
a large sum; but, as the young officer
had been but four years in the army, and
was by no means ill off, he thought the
capital well invested which brought him an
increase of both pay and rank. He obtained
the commission of captain in less time than
some of his friends in the line got that of
lieutenant; although they had to undergo
almost perpetual banishment from England;
and, for the best years of their lives, had to
perform the tedious duties of military colonial
service. Nob thought—and not without
reason—that four years of an easy London
existence, was not a very hard apprenticeship
to undergo, before acquiring the rank of a
captain in the English army.

These years of severe London service, must
not however be construed too literally. Out of
every twelve months, officers of the guards are
allowed four months' leave of absence; which
they can claim by right of custom. Unlike their
brethren who do not belong to the
Braminical portion of the British army, these
gentlemen have no uncertainty about the portion
of leave granted them. They have but to
put down their own names in a book, to set
down the name of the officer who has agreed
to undertake their duty during their holiday,
and the whole thing is arranged. Upon parade
show-days—when foreign magnates witness
the manoeuvres of the English guards—the
presence of as many officers as can be got
together with each battalion is deemed
indispensable. But, at other times, the standing
of these persons in the service may be
considered a mere matter of form. The
discipline of the men in each barrack-yard, is
looked after exclusively by the adjutant;
whilst the pay-sergeants attend to the
general conduct and well-being of their
respective companies. So seldom are
officers who have learnt their drill required
to be with their battalions on field-days, that
their order books exhibit, on the eve of any
parade of more than ordinary importance,
the announcement, that "Captains and tailors
are to be present;" the interpretation of this
curious memorandum being, that the
commanders of companies, as well as the soldiers
who from their calling as tailors are excused
all ordinary duties, are desired to take part
that day in the field operations.

Nob, after a few years of annual moving
from Portman-street to the Tower; from
the Tower to St. George's Barracks; from
St. George's Barracks to Wellington Barracks;
thence to St. John's Wood; from St. John's
Wood to Windsor; and from Windsor to
Winchester, found himself promoted from
"Lieutenant in the guards and captain in the
army, to be a captain in the guards and
a lieutenant-colonel in the army." For this
step, he paid altogether the sum of four
thousand eight hundred pounds, as its
Regulation value, besides two thousand pounds
over and above, as the price demanded in his
regiment for the rank by custom. It was a
great deal of money to give; but, if army
rank is to be bought and sold, it is surely
worth paying double for it in a service where
double promotion is obtained at each step—
this, too, whilst living at ease like a gentleman
for eight months of the year in London,
and, for the remaining four, wherever the
recipient of the public pay liked to reside for
his own pleasure. In ten years from the time
Nob entered the service he became, without
trouble or annoyance to himself, a
lieutenant-colonel in the army. In this rank he
remained only a few months longer with
the guards. As soon as he could, he
exchanged into a line regiment; taking command
of it the very day he joined, as a matter
of course.

The corps into which Nob had exchanged,
was stationed in one of our colonies; but,
being under orders for England, he did
not join it before it reached home. The
regiment had for several years not been
fortunate in promotion. Of the ten captains
belonging to it, seven had been in the service
longer than their new commanding officer;
whilst each of the majors had held Her
Majesty's commission before he was born.
Notwithstanding this, Nob took charge of
it, and thus commanded men who—even then
of some standing—had proceeded on foreign
service with the corps before their new
colonel entered the army.

Here we will leave Nob of the Guards, in
order to watch the fortunes of Snob in the Line.

Snob had had hardly time to learn the
rudiments of his drill at the dépôt of his regiment,
when he was ordered upon foreign service.
The dépôt was stationed in Ireland, and the
head-quarters were at Malta. As soon as he
knew the ordinary routine of his duty, he