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A reader of a penny novel-journal who
wants a receipt for gingerbread. A reader
who complains of fulness in his throat.
Several readers who want cures for grey
hair, for warts, for sores on the head, for
nervousness, and for worms. Two readers
who have trifled with Woman's Affections,
and who want to know if Wornan can sue
them for breach of promise of marriage. A
reader who wants to know what the sacred
initials I. H. S. mean, and how to get rid of
small-pox marks. Another reader who
desires to be informed what an esquire is.
Another who cannot tell how to pronounce
picturesque and acquiescence. Another who
requires to be told that chiar'oscuro is a
term used by painters. Three readers who
want to know how to soften ivory, how to
get a divorce, and how to make black
varnish. A reader who is not certain what the
word Poems means; not certain that
Mazeppa was written by Lord Byron; not
certain whether there are such things in the
world as printed and published Lives of
Napoleon Bonaparte.

Two afflicted readers, well worthy of a
place by themselves, who want a receipt
apiece for the cure of knock-knees; and who
are referred (it is to be hoped, by a straight-
legged editor) to a former answer, addressed
to other sufferers, which contains the
information they require.

Two readers respectively unaware, until
the editor has enlightened them, that the
author of Robinson Crusoe was Daniel
Defoe, and the author of the Irish Melodies
Thomas Moore. Another reader, a trifle
denser, who requires to be told that the
histories of Greece and Rome are ancient
histories, and the histories of France and
England modern histories.

A reader who wants to know the right hour
of the day at which to visit a newly-married
couple. A reader who wants a receipt for
liquid blacking.

A lady reader who expresses her
sentiments prettily on crinoline. Another lady
reader who wants to know how to make
crumpets. Another who has received
presents from a gentleman to whom she is not
engaged, and who wants the editor to tell
her whether she is right or wrong. Two
lady readers who require lovers, and wish the
editor to provide them. Two timid girls,
who are respectively afraid of a French
invasion and dragon-flies.

A sad dog of a reader who wants the
private address of a certain actress. A reader
with a noble ambition who wishes to lecture,
and wants to hear of an establishment at which
he can buy discourses ready-made. A natty
reader, who wants German polish for boots
and shoes. A sore-headed reader, who is
editorially advised to use soap and warm
water. A virtuous reader, who writes to
condemn married women for listening to
compliments, and who is informed by an equally
virtuous editor that his remarks are neatly
expressed. A guilty (female) reader, who
confides her frailties to a moral editor, and
shocks him. A pale-faced reader, who asks
if she shall darken her skin. Another pale-
faced reader, who asks if she shall put on
rouge. An undecided reader, who asks if
there is any inconsistency in a dancing-
mistress being a teacher at a Sunday-School.
A bashful reader, who has been four years in
love with a lady, and has not yet mentioned
it to her. A speculative reader, who wishes
to know if he can sell lemonade without a
licence. An uncertain reader, who wants to
be told whether he had better declare his
feelings frankly and honourably at once.
An indignant female reader, who reviles all
the gentlemen in her neighbourhood because
they don't take the ladies out. A scorbutic
reader, who wants to be cured. A pimply
reader in the same condition. A jilted
reader, who writes to know what his best
revenge may be, and who is advised by a
wary editor to try indifference. A domestic
reader, who wishes to be told the weight of
a newly-born child. An inquisitive reader,
who wants to know if the name of David's
mother is mentioned in the Scriptures.

Here are ten editorial sentiments on things
in general, which are pronounced at the
express request of correspondents, and which
are therefore likely to be of use in assisting
us to form an estimate of the intellectual
condition of the Unknown Public:

1. All months are lucky to marry in, when
your union is hallowed by love.

2. When you have a sad trick of blushing
on being introduced to a young lady, and
when you want to correct the habit, summon
to your aid a manly confidence.

3. If you want to write neatly, do not
bestow too much ink on occasional strokes.

4. You should not shake hands with a
lady on your first introduction to her.

5. You can sell ointment without a patent.

6. A widow should at once and most
decidedly discourage the lightest attentions on
the part of a married man.

7. A rash and thoughtless girl will scarcely
make a steady thoughtful wife.

8. We do not object to a moderate
quantity of crinoline.

9. A sensible and honourable man never
flirts himself, and ever despises flirts of the
other sex.

10. A collier will not better his condition
by going to Prussia.

At the risk of being wearisome, I must
once more repeat that these selections from
the Answers to Correspondents, incredibly
absurd as they may appear, are presented
exactly as I find them. Nothing is
exaggerated for the sake of a joke; nothing is
invented, or misquoted, to serve the  purpose
of any pet theory of my own. The sample
produced of the three million penny readers
is left to speak for itself; to give some idea

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